i didn’t finish my basket weaving today…and that’s as it should be, i suppose

we aren’t ever…finished. there is always something left undone, something to change about ourselves, a new path to take

i think i will leave this one as it is…to remind me of how we change as we grow, taking on new form as our days are added

i have changed as each moment, each day…each year…wove itself into me. and as my basket is, i am, not yet done

i will never be done


the fight

i’m tired…exhausted, really

i’m angry. and worried. i’m scared

as i print journal articles, and copies of months of medical records to fight in this appeal to insurance, i look over at lingering son

he’s fought so hard. we all have…and it shows in both his healing, and in his eyes

i am fighting a machine so enormous, i scarcely know where to begin

so i begin with logic and facts…and land on humanity and compassion

on the value of a life being about more than dollars and cents

on what it costs us all when we begin to lose sight of that intrinsic value, and pursue instead one we can count on balance sheets


lingeringson’s life is in the balance

it’s tipping, and i’m going to set it right

insurance has a finger on the scale, and i’m going to right it

or die trying


a sense of purpose…

intangible, elusive

yet when we find it, it’s as familiar as a well worn shoe

it at once settles and excites…stimulates us into action without indecision

i often wonder…what is the sense of purpose for lingering son?

he is assured of our love, his value, his presence in our lives…but what purpose is in his heart?

i chafe at hearing the word ‘inspiration’…at the idea his life is what it is to help others be “better”

as if he owes the inspiration of disability to society

no, his life is…his

his purpose is not mine to grasp, because it is, at the end of the day…his own, woven in and through our lives



we parents…we watch our children grow with wistful eyes and full hearts

bearing witness through the stages of life, as they run and float and fly

one day nursing a tiny wrinkled newborn…the next, it seems, standing by a grown son or giving away a bride

the days between fall, one by one, like autumn leaves, until we give our child to the world to carry on

but for this lingering son, there will be no wedding day, no firstborn, no flight from the nest

his life is different, yes, but his alone…and we who love him bear witness to that life, to his existence, to the meaning of it all



home. the word evokes mental pictures, memories, feelings, and for most…a deep longing.

i say the word often, as lingering son completes his third week in icu. home evokes feelings of hope for him. hope for family, hope for normalcy and routine. hope for love over perfunctory politeness.

hope for the place everyone knows how he communicates, where everyone speaks to him as an adult, where there is comforting, and no one asks ‘what does he go by?’.

home is where wiggling toes or shoulder shrugs are greeted with encouragement. where his wrinkled brow says he needs a change of pace, or something isn’t right. home is where he is part of life, not someone’s job for the day.

we hope to go home in the morning.

it’s about time.


vinegar pie

my mom was not a very good cook. she was a lot of things…smart, pretty, educated, and opinionated. but cooking was not her strong point. 

i’m pretty sure she got the ‘not a great cook’ gene from my grandma. i remember Sundays visiting with the kids, taking with us a box of fried chicken from Knott’s…in self defense to her dreaded meatloaf. its  makings were a mystery, but i wager there were far more cracker crumbs than meat in that loaf, and what meat there was, was eighty percent fat. meatloaf aside, no one loved you like Grandma. she made wonderful noodles that i’ve still never replicated. the less than aptly named ‘never fail noodles’.

i have a recipe from my Grandma’s tin, handwritten and a bit faded. it’s for Vinegar Pie. she won a pie baking contest one year (bad year for fruit??) with this pie. my mind conjures up visions of sour faced judges, fresh from the pickle competition…

we’ve all heard the saying ‘when life gives you lemons, make lemonade’. well, vinegar pie is my lemonade.

we all have vinegar in our lives. it’s useful for some things, usually in small quantities. it offsets too much sweetness, and lends its own tangy flavor. on its own, it is sour and disagreeable. blended with the right balance of ingredients, it turns into something good. like vinegar pie. 

thank you, Grandma Woolverton. your chicken noodles are still the best i’ve ever tasted, though it’s been nearly 30 years. and Mom…you taught me well. maybe not cooking, but i learned how to comment, editorialize, and advocate…from you. 💞


advocate mom

i’ve seen many moms like her, a few dads too…though this seems most often a women’s land

she is standing outside a meeting room, rifling through the mix of papers in the bag she carries with her, everywhere. inside is a confusion of old name tags, pens, and half eaten energy bars that seem to multiply overnight

after quickly checking her phone for messages about kids at school, or work, or a disaster call from the nurse at home, she draws a breath, smoothes her shirt, and runs her fingers through her hair. she’s often a bit rumpled from the early morning drives, and lack of sleep…and is usually seen with a cup of coffee nearby

this mom is a warrior. an advocate for her family and others like them. she cannot stop, or something may be missed…or may fall apart. she won’t let that happen, not on her watch

she is relentless. she is vigilant. she is tireless…yet, at the end of the day, she feels an exhaustion only known by others like her, and by runners in marathons

there is no pay, and little recognition. the rewards are often intangible. she is doing more for all of us, every one, and for those yet to come…because she must.

change requires all we have to give. it requires giving up your shyness and taking up a pen, or speaking into a microphone. change requires learning about things you haven’t known before, and then teaching others. she may never see the change she fights so hard for, but she knows she gave her all… a damn good try…and will leave something for others to build upon tomorrow